Was it the fumbling attempts at conscious communication, which still somehow seemed to miss the point? Or the disappointing sexual experiences, in whi...h I wasn't even brave enough to communicate my true desires? Regardless, I was filled with a sense of loss (paradoxically).I turned to one of my other great loves for comfort: gardening. A friend of mine took me out to the field to pull weeds at the commune where he lived. It was a delightful Spring day. Butterflies danced overhead, the wild. Sarah then started thinking about something else and told Chris. "We'vebeen in more than an hour. It was 11:00 when we went in. It's about lunchtime now, and I'm actually kind of hungry. Wish us up something to eat,whatever you want."Chris, remembering what the man said earlier about eating a steak forevery meal, willed 2 large T-Bone steaks to appear on the table. Hespecifically wanted them to be as good as some really great ones he hadhad a long time ago in a fancy restaurant back in his home. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it's not my home all that. Home, it's La Famille Plouffe, Seraphin Poudrier, La P'tite Vie, Felix Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montreal, Les Bougons ... Do you understand???Less and less...Listen, forget all that shit. Ask me another question.Ok, what town do you come from?Mmm... , I don't know anymore...You don't know what town you come from?Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it merged with. It's funny, I thought it hadbeen a mercy, being aware of everything like this, but now that I couldsee the other side of the coin, I could see the responsibility itentailed."Evan?" I said. "Let's get you fixed." No." He shook his head softly as he looked up at me. I tried not to lookdown at the way his boobs followed suit."No?" No." He gave a tiny smile. "There's others that have been messed up bythis thing, right?" Uh, yeah," I said, thinking back to the train wreck that was campus, "afew.".
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