Today I am despairing inside. Today Mark’s girlfriend is visiting. In the community lingo, I’m a secondary partner, where Mark’s girlfriend, Lil...y, is the primary. A year ago when Mark and I first started seeing each other, I liked the lack of commitment and had several other partners of my own. It was fun to play the other woman, but still know that it was all consensual and that nobody was going to be hurt. Until now, I’d never reacted like this, her visits back home from her job overseas had. She hugged me and we went up to her room.As we entered the room I noticed what I always notice every time I enter Carla's bedroom. All of her posters. Carla came out as being a lesbian when she was 13 and she has posters of big breasted women all around her pink walls. Even though I've seen them 1000 times. Carla knew I was a lesbian but we hadn’t acted on it at my sleepover because I was so paranoid about my parent. Carla’s parents were liberal, tolerant and absent most of the time. . Anyway,. It still was the focus of my fantasies, as she knelt before me and asked me for Protection. But I wasn’t focusing on any fantasies of Melissa’s beauty. It was her presence that I missed more. That feeling of having someone in my arms to protect ME from my own nightmares.The next day was more of the same. It was quite clear that the events of the dinner were acting like a pulsar-sized wedge in what had been a pleasant shipboard environment. Heyanna still tried to cook meals for us, but it wasn’t. The rest was split three ways. Her second husband was military and died in combat with a million dollar life insurance that paid double if killed in combat. But, Agnes was very lucky or good at the stock market and trading in her younger days. Which brought her to Monica for representation in the new ever changing market.I met Agnes at Monica’s office when I was picking her up for lunch. Agnes invited herself along, so she could make sure I was good enough for Monica. I passed thankfully, to.
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