”I started across the stage to the applause. Then the announcement continued, “In addition to being eight years old, he is the first quad major at...our University.”I stepped up to take my diploma, and get my traditional handshake, but the University President put a hand on my shoulder to keep me from following the other students around the stage and back to our chairs. “For groundbreaking work in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Physics he is also being awarded a Master’s Degree in each of those. I masturbated. I found porn. My friends made copies of stuff and slipped it to me on burnt CD-ROMs disguised as music. (Which triggered a lecture on music piracy when those were discovered.) When the internet got big, she limited our access to it and had some weird-ass software installed on the router that blocked access to most pornography. It didn't completely stop me from watching porn when I wanted to, but it was an unnecessary hurdle. (Thanks Mom.) Thankfully, my Aunt Jenny was there to. I snuck back inside and lay awake for another thirty or forty minutes, exhilaration coursing through my veins, and a smile on my face. I kept up my streaking on a fairly regular basis. There were nights that I would stay up all night because I was streaking the neighborhood, and there were nights I went out once. Of course, most nights I didn’t even bother with it; how else would I explain my lack of sleep the next morning? When it became colder out there, I didn’t streak as much. But the. So very, very stupid!!I will show you something. But you HAVE to promise me that you won't share it with anyone else, OK? Can you promise me you won't? Promise me that you honestly won't show it to anyone else? That it will be our secret?Ok, here goes........Or, ....wait.Maybe I should first tell you how this whole mess came about. What has happened exactly to put me in this situation.So, I am Anna and I'm a babysitter, or rather a dog sitter. I look after Boris, a quiet and really sweet dog..
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