Mom knew that she was hardly a supermodel,she did not match the beauty ideals of the consumer age, even if shewere younger. Yet still, Jason hadn't gi...en her even a hint ofdissatisfaction. Just last night, their impassioned lovemaking had beenas intense, as responsive as ever, perhaps even more so than usual. Butwith no other males in the Suburban townhouse, the big-titted girlymags could not have come from any other source.Had she been a fool? To think that mere love could compete. "Because we are trying to have a fucking conversation here!" she almost shouted. "Is it that hard to notice?" "No, but I thought I might join in," I replied. "Yeah, but that isn’t going to happen, is it?" she said harshly. She turned to her girlfriend again. I felt let down, but the need to keep going only grew stronger. I couldn't leave, defeated like that. I had to turn it around, somehow. Maybe I was a bit drunk, but she had no reason to be so rude. "Look, you’ve got really nice hair…" . He was what I had considered a handsome man for his age, always looking proper and sparkly clean in his suit. And as I neared the house, the thought occurred to me that as long as Father Paul and my mother were sitting in the living room, drinking their coffee, as they always did, the topic of how they all missed coffee so much during the War always coming up, that perhaps I wouldn’t be asked to work cleaning the house if could only manage to sneak in and make it up to my room.So, quietly I cut. I also wanted not to go to jail or hang. The more I thought of it, I thought that killing him was to good. He would suddenly just disappear, his light would go out and he would not suffer. I thought of putting the bullet on his penis. I knew I could do that even at a mile but the one shot could kill him. Just a couple of inches and it would and he might bleed to death. Bleeding to death would be a better death for him than just blowing his head off. He would suffer some before dying but I.
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