“WAIT! You don’t want to kill you’re biggest fan, do you?” Ember begins to loosen her grip, as she looks at Tucker strangely. “You’re…my...biggest fan?” “Yeah, you Rock…out loud!” Tucker says, trying to appeal to her vanity side. “That’s why I was onstage singing one of your songs.” Ember’s a little wary of believing him. “So why do you hang with the Snow-Haired Pinhead?” “Uh…so I could get a chance to see you?” Ember releases her hold on his throat, buying into his story. “But…why were you. The next few days was spent alone in my room, crying and carrying on like what happened to me was the worst possible experience and I was going to be scarred for life. Being gay was akin to murder and **** in the eyes of my peer’s back home. Everything that I had worked towards throughout my youth had gone right out the window, and was for sure going to hell. At one point, I even thought about calling a church leader back home, but knew that telling her was as bad as telling my parents. My. How easy it is to slip into the old me. I stand in front of my mirror, naked and twisting and turning, and admiring how she still fits. I imagine I can see the old cuts; the old scars when they were fresh and new. The soft scabs that washed away in the bathtub, leaving soft pink and white baby flesh beneath. I miss that. I haven't cut myself in six months. The last time was November twelfth. It was the last time I made love to myself.Riding the bus, always the bus. Riding with old people and. Then expertly I cut her bra straps and it too fell to the floor. Nancy fell forward towards the wall, catching herself with her one unused hand. I slid the knife between her skin and her shorts. It too dropped to her feet, until she was standing naked, her backside towards me. I threw the knife in the kitchen sink."Talk dirty to your husband, tell him you miss him." I whispered.Unresisting, I manoeuvred her over to the kitchen table and bent her over it. She wasn't statuesque any longer, but.
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