John, unusual for the time, was an out gay man, he was slender, handsome, and charming. We had a work-friendly relationship that never amounted to mor... than brief conversations and sharing of jokes. I never had the slightest sexual attraction to him or any other man, that was to change in a big way.After a while, our conversation drifted into the more personal and John opened up about bathhouses as places he would go to have sex. I was fascinated, the more I listened the more I wanted to see. Then about a year ago, it started to become aregular thing with me. I not only thought about it duringsex, but when I was at work or watching TV. I wondered ifI could actually bear my wife being with another man.If I could watch her do it. If I would go insane withjealousy. If I would still love her and her me after-wards. I began to try to rationalize it but figuredI could never make it happen even if I decided I reallywanted it to.About that same time, we went out of town for a. The one thing I was pretty sure of, and grateful for, was the truth that the bad guys, who I now knew were clearly rich bad guys, wouldn’t lower themselves to hang around my hang out. Way too low class for them. And they had left me alone. I guess my bud, mister Hightower, had delivered my message—thank God! There is indeed an upside to everything.“So, Anna’s doing okay then?” said Lea.“Yes, and that in more ways than one,” said Carlton.“Oh?” said Lea.“Yes, she said that she saw our man going. Pamela Hughes was one of the few women I worked with, with whom I didn't feel some sort of attraction. She was very short, only about five feet tall in her mid thirties, and incredibly thin.She said, " I don't know how to say this Ann, I wasn't going to come to see you, it's such a sensitive subject. I feel really awkward about it." I told her to just come out and say it, thinking that I could guess what it was that was troubling her."Well," she said in a hushed voice, " I know it's none of my.
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