He passed out, woke up and drank some more. Three days later, Larry crawled out of the shit hole, showered and found his cell phone. He’d turned it ...ff so that he wouldn’t be forced to hear the constant calling and texting from his soon to be ex-wife.He picked it up and turned it on. As it came to life, it buzzed incessantly catching up the notifications from all the missed calls and messages. He logged in and noticed that he had a ton of phone calls and texts from many people, including a lot. "So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.He said, "Do you have any rye bread?" Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"He said, "I want 5 loaves."She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me."Selling BiblesA pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial. I think she wanted to do more than cop a feel. The inside guy showed us to a booth in the corner but not too far from the dance floor. I think it must have been the darkest corner in the club. We sat down and ordered drinks. That made about 8 drinks for each of us at that point and I was getting a little fuzzy. We hadn’t been sitting there for more than 5 minutes when who should come up to our table? Lance!! “Well if it isn’t my absolute 2 favorite customers!” he said. Funny, I always thought. "Unless, of course, you'd like to fill this." You're bribing me?" Doyle, call it whatever you want. I'm naked in the bathtub. I don't have a whole lot of leverage." Hand it over." Stop ogling my breasts." Well then, move the glass." Spoilsport." Gimme."Doyle took the wineglass, and shaking his head as much in amusement as confusion he left the room, turning once at the door for a glimpse of his obviously certifiable, but nonetheless gorgeous wife.He was back in five minutes.He opened the door.
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