"But I couldn't." Why not?" Because all it would have been was the screenplay for a porn video," she said. "When I thought of you, all I could think a...out was how wonderful you made me feel with your fingers, and mouth, and..." She didn't finish, but I was pretty sure what else she had been thinking about. It was the same thing I had been thinking about as I lay there stroking my boner."If you'd have written that, I might have come to see you," I said."I know. And that was the problem. If you'd. Girl ant. If it floats... I’m really happy that Facebook is up again. It was so annoying, knockings on my neighbors doors to show them my dinner!On his 74th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife.The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a near by reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his gift certificate to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in. He felt his Blackberry vibrate in his pocket. "Hello?" he answered.Brian -- it's Debra."Oh, hi."Hi. I got your message about something to do tonight."Yeah ... I was talking to one of the guys here about our dilemma. He's a member of an amateur theatre group and they're putting on The Fantasticks tonight. I can get tickets. Maybe you'd enjoy that."I'm not familiar with it."It's a musical ... kind of avant garde ... or it was avant garde in the sixties. I thought you'd enjoy it because a live. Well, he did, but then after I loaned the keys to the jail to the nice feller who was locked up on murder charges, it was decided I was probably better suited to drive around in a patrol car. But they just give me the badge. I had to buy the gun my own self." This boy even gave bad cops a good name."Homer," I said to my best friend, "Would you please get your finger out of our wife's butt and run your retarded and demented little brother out of here before I set him on fire?"Homer looked at me.
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