But I had other things on my mind this evening besides sports. Sittingin my mother's bedroom with curlers in my hair, polish on myfingernails and toen...ils, body lotion all over my arms and hairlesslegs, I had other worries. Tomorrow I will have to get up, get readyfor school and spend my first day as a Mount Saint Mary's freshman.Even the term freshman made me laugh. There was nothing man about it.I would be 100% girl tomorrow from the skin out and be going where noboy has gone before. I almost. But I keep going anyway.Up until a short time ago, I've never told anybody about my problem. I'vealways been afraid they would decide I'm so broken I can't be trustedwith my job.But recently I managed to find someone I could trust to talk to.Helva, "the ship who sings" herself.I cant even describe how much of a relief it is to talk to someone aboutthis.It all happened a week ago ...Helva had arrived at my city's spaceport, and once the day's bustleslowed down, I risked having a conversation. I cleared my throat and nodded towards the stove, “Yeah sure Mr. Hot stuff. You’re definitely smokin’. Now seriously, blackened is one thing, burnt it another. Need help?” I can’t help but love the kid. I mean, he does way too much to try and be romantic for me. It’s really cute. I gotta admit though, harassing him is a lot of fun too.His eyes get really big and he covers his mouth. Before I have time to come to the rescue, he has managed to save a few pieces of garlic bread and kill the heat. We hear her lock it then more sobs.You slip out of bed. I hand you your robe and I get out too. We put on our robes and go to the kitchen. I start my coffee and pour you orange juice. We sit across from each other at the breakfast nook table. Both of us silent.We sip our drinks, waiting. We feel her enter the room. Turing we see her standing at the door. She is not crying.She goes to the pot, pours herself a cup, takes a sip then turns to us.'I had sex with my mother from about your age till.
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