Some of them werethoughts I never dreamed of having. Thoughts like taking Eric back tomy bedroom and showing him how much I appreciated all he'd done ...or me.Thoughts of showing him how much I'd miss him. Thoughts I would NEVERhave had as Jimmy, that's for sure! Yet, every time those thoughtswould make themselves known to me, they were overridden by the thoughtthat it wouldn't be right. It would be "gay" or something like that.Stupid thoughts, I know, but there they were. I hadn't crossed. .my job...my family...arghhh....mywhole body trembled as the possible consequences sank in. I went to thebedroom too scared to even look at my computer, lay on the bed and staredat the ceiling hoping beyond hope that it would all just go away.The next day, sick with fear, I did what I knew I had to do, sooner orlater. I logged on to my computer. Facebook...'incorrectpassword'....email...'incorrect password'...messenger...'incorrectpassword'. I felt the colour drain from my face. He'd done it,. History was an eye-opener. In high school one of the teachers had painted the US as this imperialist behemoth astride the world. US History gave a different picture, one that was decidedly at odds with what I'd originally been taught. This was more like it.I'd taken French in high school, sort of a natural in Louisiana, and my third of five classes was a little more advanced than I'd expected, but I was here to get pushed. I wasn't here to party and make the social scene, that I already had. The strappy platform sandals I bought were way too high but I did not care because they were so sexy and I loved the way they showed off my newly polished toes. I put on my earrings, bracelets and necklace and stepped out of the room so I could finally see myself. Tara greeted me as I stepped out of the room. “Holy shit!” Her voice startled me. “You look so damn good!” I walked over to the hair cutting station so I could see myself in the mirrors. I had to bring my hand up to my mouth to know.
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