It was jump down or do ten years-- after being degaussed. He jumped.The instant he hit the ground the forest seemed to come at him. Figures covered in...leaves and camouflage came out, grabbed him, and pulled him with them. It was as if the forest had swallowed him up.They ran at almost breakneck speed through the forest, crunching sticks underfoot, barely missing low-hanging branches. The pain in his neck started to subside thanks to some strong liquid they forced down his throat once they were. "All right, you want a different story? This one is about the first Christmas. I can guarantee you haven't heard this before."And it came to pass in the days of Caesar Augustus that a decree went out that all the world would be taxed-"At the command of Augustus I wrote that decree. In 50 years Rome had tripled in size. Kingdoms that should have taken generations to capture had fallen under Roman rule in months. Through diplomacy, bluff, guile, and naked military force Rome now ruled every land. “Well, it’d look old school if you let me and Louie pick the colors,” grandpa countered.“I’d like to start with a royal blue frame and white body panels,” added. “The same royal blue in the numbers, red outlines and ... And if you and Louie don’t mind, I’d like to pick the number.”“Shit, that’s all fine,” Grandpa drawled. “Just so long as you don’t pick #1. There’s no creativity in that worthless number.”Mom and grandma laughed knowingly. I assumed there was an old rivalry involved here.“No,. ...Uh, okay, I'm... not sure how to start this....Sorry, I, uh......Ah, jeez. Listen to me, acting like I'm talking to someone.......Well, I mean... I kind of am.......Maybe I should, uh... maybe I should start with something I shouldhave said earlier: I wrote this with assistance. In my hand, rightnow, is a small, orange, plastic digital recording device that... well,I made it. I'm proud of it, too; it's pretty ingenious. You see, itdoesn't just record audio. I included a little.
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