I have learned there are levels of pain that I never knew or even dreamed existed. I learned how a disability changes the way people perceive you. I k...ow what it is to be pushed past the point of giving up. A place where you pray to die and mean it. I have been humbled and humiliated. It’s horrible.While it has wreaked havoc in my life I did manage to see some good and learn a few things. It is easier for me to be around disabled people now, especially those who are autistic because we are more. I managed to turn around to my left and saw theagonizing sight of the prison ferry heading off, with that bitch DeborahSutton who'd masterminded the whole thing and the escapee BarbaraSchneider, both waving at me. I clenched my fists in rage but that's allI could do, with my wrists manacled to the tight belt round my waist.Then I felt a tug from the chain attached to my collar, as the prisonerin front of me reached the top of the ramp. I also got another painfulwhack on my legs from the big. ” It was a nice hotel and as we rode the elevator up I begin to think, what am I doing going into his room with just him and me?Once inside his room he did make phone calls and asked me to relax on the couch. After he finished he came over and sat next to me. “Are we going to see the movie now,” I asked. “I’ve missed you. You are a nice looking young fellow and I really enjoyed our time at the movie before.” By this time he had his right arm around my shoulder and his watch adorned left. In doing so she had given me this delightful view, almost to her crotch. As I looked up, she happened to glance up as well and in the split second that our eyes caught each other’s, I knew she had suddenly realised how much I could see. She turned away, speaking to her partner, but did not move her legs. I continued my conversation, glancing up furtively occasionally, but at no moment did she acknowledge me or look in my direction. Slowly though, she shifted, so that every so often my view.
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