At first I couldn't stand it. But those men were rough, torturous, and at the end of the day, I needed affection. After they took turns on me, one aft...r another, my trainer came in, patted me on the head, and said, "Good girl." Then he led me back to my cage.At first, I found the "Good girl" just the icing on the cake, a final bit of patronizing on top of the torture. Then I began to tolerate it, then appreciate...then live for it. I needed approval. It was all I had.After some months, he. A little bit of distant worry. Anticipation mixes with each caressing stroke as the bristles slide softly over you. Each stroke of the brush luxuriates through your hair. Your hands sit on the the table in front of you and a little dampness gathers under your palms. Your body is warm and your skin sparkles. The chair is forming a tiny puddle where you sit and we can both smell perfume. The brush rises to the top of your head and falls like water down your back. The brush rises to the top of. They did their usual at the library. Then, on their way back, Craig stopped at a pizza shop.“Anne,” he said. “Would you like to get some pizza and eat it at my place?”God! She had forgotten. Still, that was a totally rhetorical question. Craig decreed that she would choose the toppings, probably trusting her to know what selection made Anne sick. She didn’t, but judged conservatively. They walked to a place that was closer to Deb’s place than either was to the library. Craig let them in, and. .. Mark" Well, stay with me, Mark. Help is on the way."I would have kept going like that, but just then I heard the sounds ofsirens, and knew the professionals would be there soon.And then I started getting nervous.Because no matter what the guy from the car may have thought, I'm not anangel. I'm fifty years old, overweight ...And transgender.Worse, I am at at awkward point in my transition where I am living as awoman but my I,D, says I'm a man.Fortunately, I live in a place where the majority.
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