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I happened to come across a competition one day on TV offering the winner the chance for her to come to your home, cook dinner and to teach you some c...oking secrets and to eat with her at home. I jumped at the chance at entering, even though I knew that the odds were slim and I never win anything but I had to enter for the chance.I entered the competition by answering the really easy question and I thought nothing else of it for the following week until the closing date, when a phonecall came. I'm not the only son screwing his sexy mom these days. Where the hell do you think they got the term "mother-fucker" from, anyway? Almost a year has passed since that delightful afternoon when I discovered that a middle-aged woman has the experience and the desire to show a young man around the bed in ways that a younger girl could never dream of. The fact that the middle-aged woman in question was my own mother certainly didn't bother me if it didn't bother her.We stripped each other quickly. She informed me that I would be released after seven days if I was nice all week. I was on my best behavior all week but I fucked up Friday when I told her it's been a week let me out. She told me I was never to tell her when it's time to be released. She said I had just earned another week. I was in complete pain all the next week, my wife added to my pain by telling me she needed to be fucked but since I couldn't behave she would have to look elsewhere. I could have stopped it right then and. I have the wisdom of my own ancestry.So I wouldn’t be the Old Man of the Mountain, father of all assassins, but rather would I be his friend the poet who sat under a tree by the fountain in the royal courtyard, paid a monthly stipend in gold with which to drink and think about sex and to write about thinking and drinking.After all who now can recall the political reasons or pure greed which motivated the drug addled murders of the hashishins- while every one even now recognize at least two.
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