Why couldn’t he have snapped his neck when he fell? It would have been easier. But it seemed like he cheated death only to prolong his inevitable fa...e, as if the devil himself was toying with him. He tried to be strong — he wanted to be strong, but defeat was working its way into his mind and planting its roots. God, please just kill me, he thought, half praying to God. I can’t take this, I can’t do this alone. I’m tired. Luke was operating on minimal sleep. He had to convince himself to keep. The thought of Sam having to move made me sad, along with a lot of other confusing feelings of helplessness and even anger. I didn’t really mean to tell my friends anything about what had happened, but by Thursday evening I was close to bursting from the sheer pressure of my own feelings. We weren’t strictly speaking forbidden to talk about what had happened and honestly, when you’ve been friends with a group of people for so long, with at least one highly perceptive person in the group, things. “And how old are you two girls?” I asked.“Nineteen, sir,” they giggled in unison.Rosie and Marie both kissed me on each cheek.We all sat chatting for an hour or so, while the two studs served us food and drinks. Loretta and Ursula often groped and fondled the young men’s bodies.Ursula then suggested we all get in the hot tub to continue the party, which I agreed was a splendid idea.The hot tub was a large heart-shaped one on the other side of the villa, next to the pool. The hot tub was sunk. After the surgery, they put me in some gauzy kind of briefs that hid nothing yet contained the drainage from the incision. By the third day, the temperature in my room made the regular hospital gown too warm to keep it tied closed. Untying the neck straps and letting it flop down helped, but eventually, I just took it off and used the sheet for a show of some modesty.So it didn’t bother me that this nurse, Josie, would have to sit and watch me shower. To tell the truth, it kind of turned me on..
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