The doctor said I should get the father to do it," she added, with a laugh, "that most guys would just love to help out. But of course I couldn't tell...him that was impossible."Suddenly all of the girls looked at me."What?" I asked."What's so impossible about it?" Heather asked."Hold on here..." I started."Oh, Heather," Zoe said, blushing, "I mean ... you and John ... after all - you're married and all ... I didn't want to..." Come here," Heather gently grasped Zoe by the wrist and pulled her. Against all of Janie’s upbringing, sense of propriety, and embarrassment she suddenly realized that she was uncomfortably aroused. Just like she’d been when she’d seen Bella splayed out on the table. Just like- she finally had to admit to herself- she’d been when Bella had hugged her after Jacqueline and her entourage had left.She squeezed her thighs together and tried not to squirm. She couldn’t speak. What would she even say? She shouldn’t have been having these thoughts, they were so... She. I've never been very good with people. I see too many things in numbers, quantifiable and tangible measurements. Telling you or anyone else how I feel has never come easy. Such exposure has often terrified me. I mean, is there anything more vulnerable than granting another access to your every weakness? It leaves us naked in ways that bare skin never could.That sector of me shuts down with most people. It's the reason why I've been called (even by you) cold and closed off.But I still knew more. The going was rutted and I had to concentrate on my footing so I didn’t trip over. Concentrating on something other than the pain seemed to help and by the time the course levelled off, I was into my second wind. Then it suddenly struck me - I couldn’t remember having received an acknowledgement from the marshal at the last corner. In fact I couldn’t remember seeing a marshal at all. I had a mild panic attack. I couldn’t go back: it would eat up so much time and energy that I’d probably come in.
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