I guess I was stupid enough to believe that I would be the one that never got caught.’ ‘Well that didn’t go over too well. What are you going to...do now? I can’t see Dan as being the forgive, and forget kind of guy,’ Debra said. ‘I can’t really blame him now can I? You should have heard him when he called on the phone that day. He tried everything to get me to come home, and I just kept saying no to him. You know what? I just realized that I never once told him I was sorry for what I did. Not on. I really am. I really wanted to talk to you last night. I’m glad you came and reminded me of just how much I love you and you love me. But I still need time and space.”And she continued, giving me words that I would play over and over in my head in the coming days. As if on some old school audio loop. “Pete honey, I’d always known it was going to be hard. But yesterday really brought it home to me just how hard it’s really going to be. And this is just the start. Until now this was a game. You. Even in the cold air, children were outside playing, sometimes in steep yards and sometimes right out in the middle of the street. I walked about thirty minutes before I realized I wasn’t anywhere near where I thought I was. I retraced my steps, seeing everything again for the first time.A ball bounced out of a yard in front of me and I instinctively bent to scoop it up and toss it back into the yard to the waiting towhead little kid who was laughing and running toward me. He screeched in. The elevators were clear glass to the outside of the building and Mom is very afraid of heights. As the elevator started up this surprised Mom and she grabbed me. I immediately put my arms around her and assured her that she was safe. This calmed her and she looked at me in a way that sons usually never see. She pushed her hips into me and said, "I know that I am safe with you." At that instant I knew this night was only mine to screw up.We got to the tenth floor and I showed her around leading.
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