( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boat...?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live. She was capable of love but endured with a sense of hatred of both you and your eldest sister. Her overriding hatred for her first born, that sister, never diminished but her severe anger toward you changed to respect over time and you took care of her in her last few years on Earth.That’s real love on your part because you always shunned hatred by your very nature. Plus your humility, also by nature, is exactly what we needed to work with in order to accomplish our goal. It’s hard to imagine. Crystal couldn't help noticing the gigantic bulge in his shorts. Her face suddenly felt warm as she wondered just how big it really was. She felt a tingle in her loins as an image passed through her mind.Jack raised his glass and said, "Here's to love and to your successful weekend." Then he took a big drink and winced as the crushed ice met his throat. Crystal and Steve followed his example. Crystal noticed that the drink was very strong but it was a celebration. Wasn't it? She took another. ”They stood apart from everyone else exchanging little observations about events at the party. They laughed about a guy who was dancing like a spastic chicken, and the mortified expression on his date’s face. They commented about the group of guys at the keg, groaning when one of them would suddenly turn green and then rush off to find a toilet. Sally pointed out a young woman who was flashing her breasts to a group of guys.Their quiet discussion ended when a young man swaggered over to them..
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