." NO!" bellowed Mary."Then, tell me, dear Aunt, if it really is you, what put you in such a state?" When we were c***dren, sister Brigid caught your ...other and myself... touching our privates. She reached for us both, but your mother slipped past her. I wasn't so lucky. sister Brigid took me over her knee and walloped me to the point where I couldn't sit for days. With every stroke of her heavy hand, she warned me that if I were to ever touch myself or allow any one else to ever touch me. There were a couple of very stylised diagrams that showed a Chinese woman with strange expressions, and what looked like a hot spot on her lower belly. She thought for a moment it was something to help relieve menstrual cramps, but she didn't really think that was quite right. Wendy hunted for a couple more batteries and found a pair that was starting to go flat. She opened the battery holder and slipped the batteries in. She placed everything on her workbench and then eased the small switch. “Boyfriend 15 card?”“Single? Check. Smart? Check. Wise? Check. Sensible? Check. Courteous? Check. Polite? Check. A gentleman? Check. Let’s me breathe? Check. Uses Common sense? Check. Doesn’t kiss my ass (figuratively) Check. Do I need to keep on going?” She said.“You’re making that up. Repeat the crtiteria!”“Single, smart, wise, sensible, courteous, polite, gentleman, space, common sense, non ass-kisser. Want to hear the rest?”“Let it rip.” I challenged.“Sexy, passionate, uninhibited, nice. "You're not part of the family and yet you're in a family conference whereas Lucinda is part of the family and yet not part of the family conference. Have I missed something? Have you and Barry gotten married?" Not yet but we will be." Hey, that's news to me," said Barry as he walked out of the kitchen. "Hi, Mom. Uh, I'm sorry about this afternoon. It was all my fault."We'll discuss it later, Barry," said Lucy. "I'll start the kettle." We're not having tea," Karen snapped."It's still my house,".
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