She took my coat while insisting that I call her Margaret.She took me into the living room where a man her age greeted me. This was Lenz, Chris’ fat...er, who had an even deeper accent, but exuded friendship and warmth. I could see he too maintained the light haired heritage that Chris presented as a pretty blonde. He was exceptionally cordial, offering me a beer or wine. I accepted a glass of white wine, commenting that drinking in the middle of the afternoon was highly unusual. He laughed and. He is my best friend and he knows about us and I told him that he can have sex with you.” I felt like slapping him once again but I contained that anger within me. I said, “I won’t do.”He stood up and started walking out of the room. I asked, “Where are you going?” He pointed out to the terrace and said, “I’ll jump.” I was furious and ready to burst in tears or fire but I held everything in me and said, “Stop this nonsense.” He jumped in front of me and said, “Please do this one time and I. I am aware of the needs you young people have. How do you handle the lack of close physical contact Bill? I know at your age you must be sexually active. I also know you are bright enough to be using safe sex techniques. You are, are you not?" "Of course I am Polly," I said blushing bright red. "I use condoms with everyone I have sex with. It would be easier if I were a lesbian, I suppose. I wouldn't need rubbers." I have no idea why I said that. It just slipped out. I was just so disconcerted. I craved doing this far too much. I paused briefly, my thumb hovering over the button, the feintest hint of uncertainty before I hit send and my future was sealed.I told my audience, and messages of support flooded in. I thought I would feel terrified, but I actually felt relieved, the weight of the last three months suddenly lifted, I was no longer bound by having to return to work, the thought of having to go back to being the old, insecure, unconfident me was no longer an option. I could.
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