I shivered a bit. I could walk away from all of this, I thought, but for that amazingly endearing and lovely girl on the bed looking at me. It was the...thought of losing her that made me most aware of how much I wanted her: to help her, yes, but also to be there for her, to be good for her, to be with her.I sighed. "Death is the mother of beauty," I said. Lauren looked questioningly at me as I got up from the desk and made sure the door was locked, then killed the light and got into bed, the. Then I turned the camera back off. We relaxed and finished the dinner, watching the sun begin to go down, so I thought we would discuss more about how I would push her to explore her submissiveness.“So Tana I knew from discussions with David you have always bent over to please everyone, including your lovers. I know you enjoy erotica about dominance and submission. But I also know you have never had a truly Dominant lover. David has told me how you reacted to this arrangement, and I have seen. I had given myself permission to hope, and hope I would. I was banging along on my drums to the music in my head, longing for my left arm. It would soon be with me again, the pain was just a violet whisper now. I was hoping for a life with Magda, of course – that was old new already. I was hoping for friends and perhaps to play in a band. Could I? Maybe, with the right people. I would ask Bettan and Erik if they wanted to play with me sometime. Could I play on stage, with a crowd? Maybe. One. No one believed they would be able to sleep. The excitement was too high. They all agreed they needed to try though.Jake and Catherine spent a few minutes alone in the sitting room after May had cleared away the dishes. Then the two went for a walk through the ship. Everywhere they went, the Karenna buzzing with excitement. Catherine explained she hoped the eels would hunt in the morning. She wanted to invite a few deserving guests to dinner tomorrow night. When he asked how many. She told him.
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