"I'm surprised to see you," I say."Why? You know I keep checking in on you. I mean I don't have to, Ican see everything you do, but this is for moral ...upport." You can see...everything?" Yup. I saw you putting in your tampon, I saw you crying with Chrissy,I saw you putting your make-up on for your night out, even thebreastfeeding." You enjoying yourself then?" I ask angrily."Oh hon, it's just to take care of you, and you DID agree to thisexperience." One way or the other......." Look, it'll be. I stared at the dirt, moving it around to separate the minerals from the decaying matter, and then sprinkled it on the slain animal. Soon, I would die, just like this coyote, and I would return to the earth, just like everything else. For the first time in a long while, I actually smiled, knowing what I wanted. I wanted to be buried, but without a coffin, and certainly without being embalmed. I wanted to embrace my death, not hide from it in a pine box while noxious chemicals keep me from. "I slipped off my Mother's cast-off panties and threw them in the trashbasket, then I pulled on the panties, which fit fine and felt wonderful.I tried the size 33B bra first and it fit perfectly. Now when I turnedeach way, my underwear fit as it should, and it really accented the curvesthat I had so carefully covered up over the past months. I'd never haveto cover them up again."So what are my options Mommy?" I got you a pretty skirt & blouse as well as a dress. I think you maylike the dress. ’ ‘You had a girlfriend at the time I recall you saying.’ ‘Claire had given up on me a couple of months after I started on the boat. I was virtually living with the project. I had committed myself to the restoration and I felt closer to it than I did to her. It wasn’t like we fought about it. She left quietly one day, wishing me good luck and telling me she was sorry she couldn’t handle my lifestyle.’ ‘There’s something about living here on the coast and being on the water,’ Del said. ‘It’s.
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