After Iwhile the surroundings became blurred. Lorna could see that she had pushed meto my limit. ?You are a wimp.? Then she took another whip and gave...a lash. Itstruck me on my buttock and I lost completely balance. Never had I felt such apain. ?This is my bullwhip. Pull yourself together or I will teach you how toconcentrate. You are sloppy and not material for a dancer at the show.? I cried andin addition to the pain from the blow I also hurt my arm, when I fell. Lornacame over and connected. I was feeling a bit more confident in myself and feeling like I had some semblance of control until I saw my Master stand in the front of the room quieting everyone down and encouraging them to take a seat."Everyone, give me your attention up here. Where's Candi? Candi! I'm sure she's off 'entertaining' one of our guests. Candi, get the fuck up here already!"His comment about how I was 'entertaining a guest' angered me and caused my face to burn underneath my freshly applied makeup. I told. I’ll know in a couple of days. For the very most part the pain is barely noticeable and the noise is a very quiet hum. I can almost think but not quite. Wisps of story ideas are slipping from behind the wall. If I put any effort toward it pressure starts building so I’m not there yet.One of our Oak members sent me some music recommendations to help with the anxiety issues. So far, I haven’t got past the first song “Weightless” by the Marconi Union. It was specifically designed by the composers. In fact, the last few months she seemed to change. I'd catch her staring into space and smiling, and when I'd ask, she would say it was nothing and continue with what she was doing.In fact, this was my last long trip. I was working with a movie company, partly as a security consultant, partly as a weapons master. I'd become fascinated with guns thanks to my time with Mike and Harry. It took some doing, but I even had the AK-47 and the shotgun I'd used while i was overseas. I had so many weapons.
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