. every moment, every thought, ever desire ... had shattered into billions of dissociated motes, swirling through a maelstrom of raw erotic energy and...slowly reassembling, one speck at a time.I’ve been unmade. The woman I knew as me is no more. When this is all over I will be someone else. Someone new. Will she still be me? Or will she abandon this useless husk once and for all?On and on she consumed his essence. Every swallow reshaping a puzzle as yet undefined, each mouthful drawing her away. I actedso well to convince him that Iwas alseep. He placed his handright on my belly and touched mynavel. He roamed his hands thereand then slowly moved up to myblouse. He placed his hand on myright boob.I was enjoying this. But soon hetook his hand away. I did not likethat. I just turned around andadjusted as if I was in deep sleep.And in that motion, I totallyremoved my pallu from mychest, exposing my blouse,cleavage and navel. I was surethis aroused my brother. Heplaced his hand right on. It was just as I remembered it. I smiled. The hands were there still. A little faded, but still all over the wall. It was a calendar of our lives.As we neared each birthday we would all trace both of our hands and put a number above it. I wish it had been my idea, but Terry thought of it the first day we went into the newly built kid’s home our fathers had put together.I found my first imprint with a ‘6’ above it. I placed my hand over it. How tiny my hands were then. One hand today covered. Mai bi khush ho gya k mujhe bi mouka mil skta h use chodne ka. . . . Fir aise krke kai din nikal gye. Ek din maine use cll kiya or bola k tu use mere gao me le chl vha humara tubewell h vha koi ni rhta din me to usne bola thek h. Mera plan kam krne lga nd ek din vo mere sath apni gf ko lekar gao nikal gye hum dono drink krte h to maine ek bottle daru ki le li thi. Vha phauch kar maine undono ko tubewell ke room me baitha diya or bola mai kuch khane ko lata hu. Aisa bol kr mai nikal gya nd gao.
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